Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Old or just experienced

Last week, during a brief getaway, I found a shirt in a basement thrift sort of store that declared "I'm probably too old to be doing this".  It was too good, the shirt not the price, to pass up.  It happens to be the main phrase of an anthem that Joanne and I have heard a few times over the course of our journey into this new chapter for us.  Apparently there is an understood, by nearly everyone but us, principle in the modern world of church planting that you really need to be in your 30's to be able to pull this off.  If you knew anything about us you'd know that I'm not one to follow a mold and Joanne is not one to acknowledge all of the rules.  In her eyes, they are more like the "Pirate Code" ... Merely  a guideline.  So it only goes to reason that, within the realm of accepted age, we might break from the accepted norm.  Age means many things to many people.  In some contemporary understandings of church planting, it could indicate energy level, coolness factor and or ability to relate to the context your are immersing yourself in.  In our understanding, it has come to represent patience, discernment, and most importantly resilience.
This past week marked a turning point in which we were able to finally nail down the epicenter of the new work.  It culminated a few months where we spent most of our free time walking the neighborhood, touring apartment complexes ... Some repeatedly ... Walking the neighborhood, interviewing with leasing companies ... Some repeatedly, walking the neighborhood, and praying extensively.  We did this so much that the sticker shock began to wear off as we poured over countless floor plans.  We also agonized daily order the decision in the first place.  There is no switch to be turned where the second guessing stops and its only forward thinking.  Every interaction with the friends made over 13 years in our church and our community brought reason to doubt.  Every evening sitting by a fire on our deck brought reason to doubt.  Every moment playing in the backyard with grand kids brought reason to doubt.  Walking in to the building on Sunday mornings brought reason to doubt.  There is no switch to turn that off...just an annoying still small whisper saying "keep going, this will all be worth it".  That is advantage number one to being "too old to do this".  I have been around long enough to have seen "worth it".  Those of lesser age, maybe not so much.
This past week, after all of the "not yet" indications in our prayers for timing on new housing, we finally decided that it was time to put all of the walking, talking, prayer of these past months into action and make a move to secure the place that we will call home for "Common Table".  It turns out that God was apparently walking the neighborhood with us.  I say "apparently" because, even though I'm in the pastoral arts profession and by profession I'm supposed to believe that 24/7, sometimes you don't feel him.  Read the Psalms.
Anyway, on Thursday morning, as Joanne and I prayed together at a coffee shop in the new neighborhood, my prayer went something like this ; " God we know that we could probably move anywhere here and it would be fine, but we don't want fine, we want what you would deem is best ... Selfishly for us and more selfishly for the ministry.  God you also know that I'm not always very good at following your trail so could you throw me a bone on this today and make it so obvious that even I can see your hand".  Probably not the sort of prayer that will get me invited to give the opening prayer at a congressional gathering, but honest.  So off we wandered to our appointments...the last one being the place that had continually risen to the top of our list.  So you'd think that being on the top of our list, the fact that this is in fact where we landed would not rate up there with the water into wine sort of miracles that you can read about in the book of books.  But I'm going to tell you that this is exactly where God showed himself so obviously that even I could see it.  The short version is that, while we thought that this would be a great place because of many practical things like location, newness of community, floor plan, amenities that would benefit an infant church, etc, we discovered that we could see good, but we couldn't have envisioned best.  Because of our patience in the process and not jumping earlier on what might have been a good spot here, our continued prayers, the relationship formed with the leasing agent, and the timing of our decision day, God delivered best.  In this case "best" means a place that should have been, except for a fluke in timing and listing accuracy, out of our budget by hundreds of dollars a month.  "Best" means that instead of a place where we have only inside access, primarily on our floor in our building, we have outdoor access to all three buildings of this new complex.  "Best" means a free month off of a lease and waived security deposit and application fees.  As we review all that is provided through this long awaited home, we see "best" written all over it.  In earlier days I would not have had the patience to wait on "best" when good enough made an appearance.  Age has given me patience.  In earlier days I would have given up as the doubts washed over me and discouragement hung around.  Age has given me resilience. 
So I have no doubts, at last, that we are the right age to be doing this.  Everything has led us here and, if anything, these past months have reaffirmed our calling.  In the end though, it is the stories written before ours, in the book of books, that encourage me.  The stories of Noah, Abraham, Moses, and the like are stories of God saying "I'm not quite finished with you yet".  Age has its benefits.